*Disclaimer: This may offend a few...if you are easily offended or butt hurt hit the back button now. I am about to go just completely me and I am not in the mood to handle any whiny complaints...I have an 18 month old who is in the middle of terrible 2 tantrums so I deal with enough whining Thanks. Now if you can handle a difference in opinion...please read on.
Okay so in the last few days there have been a few things that have just set me off. First of all...The Phil thing. You handed a 67 year old small town southern man a mic and asked him his opinion on something of a religious nature and you are shocked by the answer...get the fuck outta here. I mean really I know a lot of people that have that same opinion but because he is on TV and A&E is still pissed that they wouldn't cut prayer out of there show they found a way to persecute the family. Seriously we can watch Honey Boo Boo be basically groomed for diabetes and that is okay but we can't watch a family have a true family dinner and pray...yup we from 'Merica now people.
Second....I am done with people twisting the bible to fit their purpose and to make themselves look better. A true Christian is one who is human first, accepts the person and hates whatever "sin" they are committing, knows that there will be times they fall, and above all else you can see God move through their actions not the words....I am tired of certain people saying they are just holding christian friends accountable for actions when they are in fact judging. Let's play a hypothetical game to demonstrate the difference...Let's say I had a friend who was a Christian but I knew was doing unchristian like things....to hold them accountable I would call them and say hey let's have coffee and talk...and one on one talk to them about the situation. That is holding them ACCOUNTABLE...posting publicly on Facebook about the behavior is being JUDGMENTAL....you are putting their faults out there for everyone to see. When that is honestly between them and God. I also have read the bible and I am confused Jesus turned water into wine so where did it become an issue to have a glass, God himself was not perfect I am pretty sure we all remember the apology after the Noah's Ark thing, and above all else Jesus died on the cross so we would be forgiven and all it takes is a prayer for forgiveness and slate is wiped clean for us to try it again. And I am supposed to be the Pagan...wow.
Third....in the midst of all this stupid stuff there was actual news but of course that was over shadowed by public figures...The pension of military retirees was cut, a man was killed by a driver when he stopped to help a stranded motorist in bad weather just hours after getting married, and a women in was arrested locally for abuse at a daycare center anyone of us could have taken our kids to. How many people reading this knew about at least one of these news stories? I am just as guilty as the next about getting sucked into media stories but I have also started clicking on the link reading the stroy then taking it to bing/google and finding out the story from another angle which is what I did with the Phil Story...yes he has some backwards views...but they are his views and the actual wording was taken out of context.
To wrap this up...here it is 6 days away from Christmas and honestly if it weren't for the elf on the shelf pictures, holiday episodes of all shows on TV/winter finales, and pictures of people's Christmas Trees...you couldn't tell it from the Facebook news feed. Be thankful for what you have, the family and friends to spend time with, and that the true meaning of the season...which can mean a few things for different people. For me it is about the family being together as possible and the laughter and joy of a child opening the gifts on Christmas morning...whether it is 1 or 100.
Now I feel better...Merry Christmas y'all
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
The internet, parenting, and all that good stuff in between.
I know it has been awhile but things have been busy...move, school, a 16 month old smack dab in the middle of teenage sleep patterns with a bad case of the terrible twos and I got 16 and a half more years of this...oww buying stock in Advil now and hoping like hell they start a buy 5 get one free club like the coffee from gas stations anyways this was not the point of my blog this morning but if you know me well yah you know I normally tell six stories to tell one and I am doing it again so let me just get to the point.
Prior to having my daughter I never tried to really offer advice unless it was something I was sure of. I knew a little from watching 3 little ones grow up my other sister and I grew up together. I could relate to some parenting things but I never did the discipline, I never decided to breast feed or bottle feed, when to turn the car seat around, and other important decisions. They always joke kids do not come with instruction booklets....well now according to some parents they do and it is called Google and Web MD for all questions. The internet now seems to be everyone's favorite place to get child rearing advice. Now don't get me wrong there is some (and I use some loosely here) info that when used CORRECTLY can be helpful I mean all these years of eating Chinese and we just learned the container folds out into a plate. The catch with the info is to read it and discuss it with professionals...you know the ones that went to school for the stuff not found a website that would give them a free page and infinite wisdom.
The hardest thing for me I guess is I came from a time where we couldn't shop at home, I rode in a car with no seat belt, car seat or booster seat, vaccines were not optional, and if you had a question or needed advice you asked your doctor, mom, or family member. It was faster to call the doc then it was to sign onto AOL and hope they had an answer somewhere.
I am not bashing the internet nor the internet parents...I would be lost without the net. I mean really if there was no candy crush what would I do with my time? My point is this parents are getting younger and first time mom's will always have questions. NO two babies are alike and no one's way is exactly the right way. IT is time for Attachment parents to stop bashing the nonattached parents, it is time for people to stop looking to Google for all the answers...I mean seriously if everything on the net were true Jakie Chan would have had more lives then a cat and everyone would have some of Bill Gates money just for sharing his picture 27 times in two days. If and when your little one is ready to start doing something they will let you know. The 2 month old that is staring down your lunch while you are eating a slice of pizza is probably ready for something other then the bottle. Vaccines are not evil and even if you are not sure of some ask a DOCTOR or NURSE not the net.
And another thing....you know it is great when we can come together and have conversations and good old fashion healthy debates on what works best. But here is a list of tips for users that like to use FB for this:
1. You never know who you are talking to and puffing up your chest and saying well I have had x number of kids may be not be a smart idea (really if you are doing it to the grandmother/aunt/any female relative) until you know for a fact the whole story.
2.Again your way is not the only way and I could give two shits what Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Dr. I got my show cause I can has to say when I heard from Dr. Ledbetter (you know the Doctor who has actually seen my child and knows who she is) that it is okay to start, try, do. If you want your kid to stare at the car seat till they are 3 by all means have at it. I know they do it in England but they also drive on the opposite side of the road....you gonna try everything they do over there?
3.Learn to agree to disagree and if you are debating your feelings and standings on how you are raising your child and getting butt hurt by what is being said. Stop take a deep breathe, log off your computer, and REMEMBER it is only FACEBOOK!!!! Unless they are gonna pay for medical bills when your child gets sick, an uber expensive car seat for your child, or pick up your rent bill and groceries this month so you can go buy all the stuff you need to meet their standard of parenting...go parent your child the way you see fit and as long as they make to 18 healthy and happy and with all attached limbs they were born with you did good.
Work with what you have and invite Mom, Aunt, Grandma, Friends over for coffee next time you need parenting help and I bet it will alot more fun then searching Google all by yourself.
Prior to having my daughter I never tried to really offer advice unless it was something I was sure of. I knew a little from watching 3 little ones grow up my other sister and I grew up together. I could relate to some parenting things but I never did the discipline, I never decided to breast feed or bottle feed, when to turn the car seat around, and other important decisions. They always joke kids do not come with instruction booklets....well now according to some parents they do and it is called Google and Web MD for all questions. The internet now seems to be everyone's favorite place to get child rearing advice. Now don't get me wrong there is some (and I use some loosely here) info that when used CORRECTLY can be helpful I mean all these years of eating Chinese and we just learned the container folds out into a plate. The catch with the info is to read it and discuss it with professionals...you know the ones that went to school for the stuff not found a website that would give them a free page and infinite wisdom.
The hardest thing for me I guess is I came from a time where we couldn't shop at home, I rode in a car with no seat belt, car seat or booster seat, vaccines were not optional, and if you had a question or needed advice you asked your doctor, mom, or family member. It was faster to call the doc then it was to sign onto AOL and hope they had an answer somewhere.
I am not bashing the internet nor the internet parents...I would be lost without the net. I mean really if there was no candy crush what would I do with my time? My point is this parents are getting younger and first time mom's will always have questions. NO two babies are alike and no one's way is exactly the right way. IT is time for Attachment parents to stop bashing the nonattached parents, it is time for people to stop looking to Google for all the answers...I mean seriously if everything on the net were true Jakie Chan would have had more lives then a cat and everyone would have some of Bill Gates money just for sharing his picture 27 times in two days. If and when your little one is ready to start doing something they will let you know. The 2 month old that is staring down your lunch while you are eating a slice of pizza is probably ready for something other then the bottle. Vaccines are not evil and even if you are not sure of some ask a DOCTOR or NURSE not the net.
And another thing....you know it is great when we can come together and have conversations and good old fashion healthy debates on what works best. But here is a list of tips for users that like to use FB for this:
1. You never know who you are talking to and puffing up your chest and saying well I have had x number of kids may be not be a smart idea (really if you are doing it to the grandmother/aunt/any female relative) until you know for a fact the whole story.
2.Again your way is not the only way and I could give two shits what Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Dr. I got my show cause I can has to say when I heard from Dr. Ledbetter (you know the Doctor who has actually seen my child and knows who she is) that it is okay to start, try, do. If you want your kid to stare at the car seat till they are 3 by all means have at it. I know they do it in England but they also drive on the opposite side of the road....you gonna try everything they do over there?
3.Learn to agree to disagree and if you are debating your feelings and standings on how you are raising your child and getting butt hurt by what is being said. Stop take a deep breathe, log off your computer, and REMEMBER it is only FACEBOOK!!!! Unless they are gonna pay for medical bills when your child gets sick, an uber expensive car seat for your child, or pick up your rent bill and groceries this month so you can go buy all the stuff you need to meet their standard of parenting...go parent your child the way you see fit and as long as they make to 18 healthy and happy and with all attached limbs they were born with you did good.
Work with what you have and invite Mom, Aunt, Grandma, Friends over for coffee next time you need parenting help and I bet it will alot more fun then searching Google all by yourself.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Military Wives and life in general
Yes I am an army wife, yes I know what my husband does for a living, and Yes I know that he may not be around 24/7. Now do I wear my husbands rank, no. I couldn't even half tell you what he does, I know he is one a boat and no I am not confused the Army actually has more boats then the Navy (One of the many things I have learned). Am I Mom like everyone else? Yes I am. I take care of my daughter, attempt at cleaning house, make dinner, and three nights a week, I go to the gym for Me time. Same things other moms do. Do I feel like I should get special recognition, no I don't. I think Single Mom's are the hardest working mom's out there and I know three very special ones. My Mother In Law was also one for a bit and she raised three amazing boys. But I swear to whatever God you wanna fill in the blank here with if I hear one more fucking time Military wives don't DESERVE the credit some women give them, please just one more fucking time. Yes your husband may travel for work, please tell me more how your husbands two week business trip in a comfy hotel where he ordered room service and talked to you and the kids every night compares to my husband being gone from anywhere from 30 days to 2 years. Yes he may come home for a 30 day R&R leave but do you realize how short 30 days is when that is all you got. Please tell me more how hard it is for you to drop the kids of at Grandma's so you can get some alone time in that two weeks, when for some of us Grandma is a few hundred to thousand miles away, and we would kill for a 20 minute shower. I knew what I was getting into when I married my husband, I was a navy brat. One year I had my dad home for 32 days of a 365 day year and they were not 32 consecutive days either. Yes your kids may act out a little but they know when Daddy is calling. I never know when or if the phone will ring. I also knew that in case of an accident I will be raising my daughter alone...with help from Family yes. I also know the same is true for non military spouses, but let me point out the difference. I am again MILES away from family and only have 30 days to pack up my house, help the kids through this, bury my husband and find a place to live if I live on post. If I live off post, I have to finish out my lease miles away from family. Whenever my husband is gone I am a single Mom and then there is the readjustment period when my husband comes home because while he was gone Mom made all the rules and you expect things to just go back to normal. Lets also mention here while your husband was away on his business trip...NO ONE WAS SHOOTING AT HIM!!!! He was not lulled to sleep every night by gunfire, explosions, and other loud things that go bump in the night. He won't come home having nightmares and ready to fight at the slightest touch to his arm. I have been elbowed in the nose, while he was in deep sleep because I touched him.
I am not saying all people think like this, I am not saying all women agree with the ones that compare a business trip with a deployment. I also hold police officer, truck drivers, EMT/Paramedic, and firefighting spouses in high regard because also in these lines of work you never know. You also deal with being swung at in the middle of the night. I am just over hearing oh your husbands deployed/deploying well mine went on a business trip......eye twitching....cracking knuckles...please tell me more through gritted teeth.
And in closing again when I married my husband I was well aware of all the scenarios, I knew what I was getting into. I deal with each day as it comes my way, and normally I don't snap about the women mentioned afore, but people break and when I came across someone calling a military spouse merely a side dish and we weren't that special and other people's husbands TRAVEL for work to...my little rubberband snapped. Now to find the duct tape to fix that damn rubberband.
I am not saying all people think like this, I am not saying all women agree with the ones that compare a business trip with a deployment. I also hold police officer, truck drivers, EMT/Paramedic, and firefighting spouses in high regard because also in these lines of work you never know. You also deal with being swung at in the middle of the night. I am just over hearing oh your husbands deployed/deploying well mine went on a business trip......eye twitching....cracking knuckles...please tell me more through gritted teeth.
And in closing again when I married my husband I was well aware of all the scenarios, I knew what I was getting into. I deal with each day as it comes my way, and normally I don't snap about the women mentioned afore, but people break and when I came across someone calling a military spouse merely a side dish and we weren't that special and other people's husbands TRAVEL for work to...my little rubberband snapped. Now to find the duct tape to fix that damn rubberband.
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